Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Breathed into...

Breathed

I Breathe your mind,
Of the fallen leaves
And broken branches.
I breathe your mind,
Of the dead root
And its lifeless crawl.

I breathe the pain,
Choking every corner
And of immobilizing moves.
I breathe the pain,
Seeing your lofted cordate
And the shimmering face of vee.

I breathe the insanity,
Filling every gap
And rendering me ticked.
I breathe the insanity,
Arising from your words
And arresting me itched.

Oh! I breathe to see,
to see the numbness before
and untangle the twists.
Ya! I’m still breathing,
To chalk out the stone
And unearth the sands of time.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

As i held it...

QuinCunx. The tale!

preface

I patiently listened to my cousin’s talk. “there are people with me. Yeah. Oh no, not parents. Look where I am. A room dude. With real people. Guys. And it is loadsa fun. But dude dude get the right ones!”

Stop the dude. The drone of the buzzing bee was getting itchy. It whizzed past my ears as they never swooped in to the hub of what he called the symphony of life, the way to experience decorous deviltry!

Soon the bee stung me. And the rest remains…

I was seeing myself at the centre with four people around me, each with a parchment that I had to read. What was it!

I

I turned right and I found the first one. I picked to read it. It read…

‘It will be great baap. See we do not expect savings right now. I mean it is not possible. It is a different place. I spoke to some of my friends and I think we can manage it.’ I have been stingy in my life a little and stingy for a reason. I wanted to save for something big. Would I be able to make myself comfortable if I always worked for what I wanted? Letting go what essentials that need to come in? And if it was the initial comfort I needed before I set foot on a land that I always hated then that was it. I had a plan and he had his. Soon he realized spending is not all. He realized money for oneself is worth a lot. We began to talk about how financially strong he was, what difficult times he has seen his family go through and what life really is. By then I knew he was a thing with girls, tossed coin to impress girls or zzzzz them without sympathy! He respected personal feelings and extend a hand of support. He is believed to be biased towards people from the north. But he made a choice to share roomspace with me. Was it because he wanted to or was it because he wanted just someone? The answer seemed obvious. The wall of security just grew as days passed though I feared instincts would create a hurdle. Months drifted. He is one person who loves company of a group. He never bothered what else was around him. It seemed it replaced the agony of missing the ones back home. If you ever feel left out when you hang out with him then speak out something that irritates him. You will most likely be supported. It happened to me and I let it happen again. It sounds weird but the wall of security that I built would stand something like this. I mean it was not that weak. The night while we spoke of the day and when I told him I had to take money from a friend of mine, he insisted I take money from him the next time and not any other . I trusted what I framed so far. Even in the most difficult of times talking to the landlord he kept his calm. He probably believed his strength. ‘We are learning a lot from the most cruel people on earth. Let us not make such a mistake. This will end here.’ And it did. I felt relieved I was out of a situation that I had no strength to handle without my dad. It did profit him the way he wanted but the scales of the balance tilt towards comfort. Begin to get insulted by him in a group. End it with the consolation you get in person. He frets with the thought of an MBA in his mind. He dreams big that seems to go beyond the limits of the sky. But that isn’t wrong! NKG – Nitesh Kumar Garg. He wishes to go places. Oh yeah, btw you need to get an appointment to take a drive in his alto! I rolled the parchment and placed it on the ground.

II

I quickly turned my left to pick my next parchment. ‘Kaka chindi karo. Aisa karna padta. anthe rao garu nenu basically chala chedda vadni. Am a rotten cheapo u see…do not trust me .’ decide for yourself when you meet this hunk. He is yet another Johnny bravo. Dig into his history and you will never get a clear picture. He’s a mix of inferiority and superiority. Probably a little less of the latter. Stay with him for a few days and you will begin to believe him. I had known quite a bit about him from NKG. I spoke to this guy for the first time while I asked him to sign an acquaintance/witness signature on an office document during my induction. I thought I would never see him again. He was one of NKG’s buddies. The next time I spoke to this guy he warned me about girls. He equivocates. During a two minute conversation on the phone he ordered me to come over to his room for some fun. A guy who knew me as NKG’s roommate treated me as one of his closest friends. Yes, that was obvious. But there was the instinct in him yet again that was good enough to spark an everlasting friendship. It feels alright to jump to this conclusion. Everlasting! And I know, so far as the months passed by, I did not make a mistake. He values family a lot and sticks to traditions though he hates to admit it. He loves to live life as it comes. It might sound monotonous but it definitely is true. Every picture he has taken has this guy hanging in the air! And not just that, he has a collage of photos that portrays so much. The first look brought tears to my eyes. It has his parents, his close friends, his college memories, his brother, his everyone who made a difference in his life. He says they remind him of some wonderful days. And when he spent an entire day in an orphanage I was convinced he has a heart kinder than the kindest person. How would you feel if an orphan climbed onto your shoulders? This guy loved it and described it in such a way that told me children are meant to be loved. Human values are rooted well within one. He lends a shoulder when you want one. His activity graph throws a weird picture. He enjoys one second and studies the next. Does he forget to smile through all this? No. Has the extra-ordinary ability to make you laugh even when the other has tears of sorrow! Don’t get surprised at his memory. Not a sieve but a hard toughened plasma. Not only being a good singer he does it without loss of words. He brings the essence of the song with perfection.’ ento mama na meeda naku nammakamu ledu em chestano ento! I doubt myself these freaking words of his can drive the listener crazy. In the weirdest circumstances you tend to give back his teachings to him. Not a hypocrite but this guy needs to be ignited, some body to give him a kick to let him loose. One who realizes his duties and knows how well to time oneself in life should never let his ability deceive him. Why am I saying this! I found a solution to something that didn’t have an answer before. Susu – Ashwin Susarla’s parchment is thus closed for people to consider friendship with.

III

I turned around and faced left to take my third parchment. And that was not sufficient to accommodate this guy’s sketch. He’s everything from a kid to a mature (or is maturely immature!) he’s an addict. An addict at reading. While I get back to his obsession let me tell you I hardly get in touch with this guy. I see him exercise every morning and he gives a feeling he’s growing old. An apt example to support the saying early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.’ He’s wealthy alright but the point to note is that he is determined to make a mark for himself. It is through his dream of being a Chartered Financial Analyst that brought his addiction into picture. He has a world of books on stocks and business. He does make an attempt at reading them, sometimes in a position not suitable for reading. This guy lacks the courage to talk straight looking into a girl’s eyes. And yet he speaks of her behind her back. He tries to pour in humor that is difficult to comprehend without a second thought. He’s real deal at fun, takes everything in the right spirit and moves on. He lends a helping hand on most occasions. And for guys who wish to have girlish fun in the room, this is the guy. I am winking at the moment. Salim Pheku – Lokesh Agarwal, a name that can be seen on a dozen credit cards. If you happen to find one the road, find him. Find and befriend. The third parchment thus finds it place beside the other two.

IV

The most complex parchment is next in store as I turn to the other side. I felt it lacked content when I set my hand on it. I opened it to know only quite a little. This guy is a maniac. He drives like he’s tail is on fire. Caution with aggression I must admit. He abides by his values and principles. He draws a boundary around him that he is very strict with. He has the biggest air of insecurity, does not trust anyone easily. He prefers to live a life of a recluse. The only time he wishes to mingle is when he tries to extend a helping hand. He has deep roots of faith and goes any extent to preserve it. There is a lot of dedication in this guy. I know very little of him. Adi – Aditya Dixit, who must be a fairy! Before you talk to him, take his earphones out of his ears. Just do it! With just a few lines etched on this parchment, I picked the other three and rolled them into one.

I have one thick scroll in my hand that needs to be read over and over to ensure it undergoes the forces of wear and tear.

QuinCunx. I stood in the middle still staring at the breeze. I was stung while I began to write all this and the pain still remains. Probably reminding me I need to long for something more inkling, something worth inking on the one large parchment I made for myself.