Gazing at Gaussian
That is one year less than one-quarter of a man’s theoretical lifetime; he said when someone told him that he’s turned twenty-four. I mean every degree from our pie is being eaten away and what are we! he envisaged.
The doctor slapped me thrice when my mom gave birth to me. I don’t have that memory but I have learned that that was done to encourage the baby to breathe. The baby is upside down when that is done and that is one serious smack on the ass. Funny it may sound but that is a medical technique. Or is it not? While I ponder all this, I begin to think how funnily life begins. And by an amazing act of God or Science which goes beyond any explanation, we begin to grow. The brain begins to think and to store. But it takes a ‘blow’ to erase all that. By any normal human standards of growth, we do not store anything that happens between the ages of one and three. I can recollect events since the age of four. I visualize, I sense and I feel. As a grownup, we see babies have testing tools such as the sleep and tears. Yes, there’s the mouth that is the biggest tool. How many arbit things have been tested this way: the saliva test. We did it too. And I know not why this happens. I wonder. I looked at three year old kid cover himself with a blanket to beat the cold. And how did he know that? Don’t tell me it is just observation in two years. Anyway, my crappy observations aside, ten to fifteen years go in growth. And life begins to walk the line. But troubled years begin. But joyous years begin. Two ‘but’s or let me just say a mix begins. Grow while you grow or deny yourself while you grow. But it has the hugest impact on the couple of years to come. The bad cannot be undone. The good can be done with more. So as I draw a curve with all the events that have happened, I would say there is a rise in…like..on the Y-axis. Not linear but a curvish growth, for all the ups and downs. For the remaining part, what I call as the aftermath of the first twenty years, I would like the curve to come down, the same way it raised. Isn’t this a popular belief: nothing stays at the top and that that has to come down. The sooner I see the down, the faster I try to get it up. So there is a bearing on the days to come, to fight the future, for the curve is like a bell.
Hmmm. I was on the rise last year with some memorable moments but this year I am walking down the curve. How quickly everything changes! I begin to think what fraction of life that got divided with this. I have put in the sanity for, say, six years, to see the insane events that could well last for a few months. I am searching for intervals to divide my curve. I know I got a bell. What am I at this point? And how much is left? Aah, if only I had the power of prediction!
He penned all this. I walked in to his room and happened to read what he had written. In a sleepy whisper he said name it ‘Gaussian Life’.
